May your Christmas be a time of reflection and remembrance

Christmas is a time when “gaiety and celebration” are the expected norm and all elements are meant to resemble an amazing Instagram post. In truth for many of us, Christmas is a time when the feeling of grief and loss for someone dear, loved and deeply missed is accentuated by all the hype. “ What do I want for Christmas? Just you to be here with me.”

William Worden in his 4 Tasks of Mourning writes that for a person who is grieving, a task to be undertaken is to “adjust to an environment where the deceased is missing”. Note “missing, not “all traces eliminated. “ It may seem counterintuitive but at Christmas time it is important to acknowledge through simple ritual, the fact that this person who has meant so much to you, is missing, and just remember them. Light a candle, raise a glass, whatever feels right. If there are tears, so what, they are tears from the heart.To those who surround you just say “thank you” for their love and understanding. This acknowledgement will not spoil things, it will add meaning and connection and bring a richer meaning to Christmas.