WHAT DO I SAY?

You have a friend who is grieving, you don’t know what to say…you don’t want to make them sadder, you don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Cliches such as: “ I know how you feel.” “At least he’s no longer in pain.” “ She wouldn’t want you to be sad .” “ You have to be strong for your family.” “It’s important to remember the good things and focus on the positive” , “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” are not useful.

Instead, don’t claim to know their pain, advise or pressure the person to be what they can’t be at this moment.

Consider asking the following but if you do, don’t feel you have have to fix your friends pain or do or say something to make the suffering go away. Just sit beside them and listen, and love and support.

“Can you tell me what this has been like for you?”

“What kinds of memories do you have about _______?”

“ How is your family doing? Do you have any concerns about them?”

“ I’m here whenever you need someone who will just listen. How are you today?”

It’s not so much about saying the wrong or right thing, it’s about being prepared to sit with them and listen; giving them the chance to just talk, permission to grieve, permission to be sad.

Ref:https://www.facebook.com/blogchasingdragonflies